Sexuality Over 50!

Over the age of 50 most women will find themselves in menopause and unfortunately, most women think their sex life is over or soon will be. I feel society has conditioned us to think that sex is only for the young.

What do we know about menopause ? It’s a physiologic change and that does not mean we must let go of our sexual desires. Whether you’re still in a relationship or not, there is no reason that we can’t continue to have sexual pleasure.  As we are all unique individuals the menopause experience is different for everyone.

According to studies the majority of women who remained sexually active into their 70s and beyond retained the ability to become aroused, maintain lubrication and achieve orgasm during sex. Regular vaginal sexual activity is important for vaginal health during menopause because it stimulates blood flow, that helps keep your vaginal muscles toned, and maintains your vagina’s length and stretchiness.

Dr. Marjorie Green, clinical instructor in obstetrics and gynaecology at Harvard Medical School, works with postmenopausal women who have difficulty becoming aroused or experience discomfort during sex.  She says communication with one’s partner is the foundation of a healthy sexual relationship, and advised the following:

Be Honest: Don’t try to fake it if your libido has dropped. Let your partner know when sex is painful.

Compromise: If one of you want to have sex more frequently than the other, you should try to find a middle ground.

Experiment:  If intercourse if painful, try new positions and techniques that may be more comfortable and vaginal intercourse is not the only options.  Genital stimulation and oral sex may provide as much satisfaction as you need.

Lubrications:  There are now many different types of lubrications to help with penetration. There are many organic labia creams and vaginal suppositories that help with maintaining the vagina’s elasticity and sensitivity.

Foreplay: Lustre in a sexual encounter can be restored by setting up a romantic atmosphere and relaxing with intellectual and physical foreplay, dancing or whatever works to get you in the mood!

When I look back at my experiences with sex, I realize that I had depended on a man to show me the way.  My mother told me nothing about my body other than that masturbation was a sin and sex was reserved for marriage.  Many women have gone through most to of their lives never experiencing an organism or being too afraid to let themselves fully enjoy the experience by holding back because of shame of not knowing what an organism can look like.

It’s time we take these matters into our own hands …literally!

If you’re not sure how to go about it I highly recommend this read “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal” by Sheri Winston.  This book not only shows how women’s physical sexual parts are constructed and how they work it,  my experience after reading it and exploring allowed me to let go of old values and ideas of how I am suppose to conduct myself in the bedroom.

Don’t you want the freedom to explore your body, your thoughts and enjoy what the creator gave us to the fullest with another and even by ourselves!







Shirley Gaudon